Another Robin Edgar?

In Uncategorized on April 6, 2011 at 5:11 am

We received this comment from a reader, and took some time considering whether to post it.  Like the individual who wrote it, we’re not offering any specific diagnosis of Robin Edgar, or anybody who behaves in such a similar manner.  But it is definitely food for thought…

I found your site doing a search on other topics, then later did some more searches and reading.  I did so because my spiritual community has faced someone very much like him.  I am a Quaker, and our local unprogrammed meeting was once disrupted by a woman who came into our midst.  Her second time attending Meeting, one of our members was moved to speak, and she interrupted him as though it were a secular discussion or debate.  The Clerk and another member took her aside to explain why her actions were not appropriate, and her immediate response was to scream at them in anger before storming out.  Later she would apologize, and we welcomed her back amongst us.  She would float in and out of Meeting, sometimes kind and joyful, but many times consumed with rage and pain.  Her spoken testimony became more and more disturbing, and soon we were moved to form a committee to intervene, of which I was called to be a member.  Our motivation was concern for her emotional and spiritual well-being, not just how her behavior was adversely effecting the members of Meeting.  Her response was so extreme, and the effects so trying to all of us, that I and other members of the committee felt compelled to advise her against coming to Meeting in the future.  It was not a happy decision, but when we considered the effects of her presence amongst us, and her recalcitrance as we attempted to show her how her words and actions affected us, we felt there was no other choice open to us.  This was followed by a barrage of angry letters, sometimes threatening, repeatedly accusing us of hypocrisy and abuse (much as Mr. Edgar is now accusing of Unitarians).  She even attempted to contact our Yearly Meeting in an effort to “go over our heads” but after other Friends listened to both sides, they concluded her complaints were (to put it kindly) without merit.  It was not until many years later that we received a letter of apology from her, after she had begun treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder and other related issues.  She is still in our prayers, and we hope as always for healing and reconciliation over time.  I pray this poor man, and your church, finds the same healing spirit.

Our thanks to this friend for sharing this story.  We hope Robin Edgar takes this message to heart.

  1. It is also worth noting that borderlines are not psychotic. Mr. Edgar is proud that he has been deemed “not psychotic” but that doesn’t mean anything as far as borderlines are concerned. The “I hate you, don’t leave me” dynamic Mr. Edgar exhibits has reminded me of borderlines for some time, which is not to say that he is one. Even if he isn’t, what has been written in the past about how to deal with borderlines is instructive.

  2. Thank you for this information. BPD is part of a cluster of similar disorders, including Histrionic (attention-seeking) and Narcissistic (self-centered). Robin Edgar shows so many of these traits, it can be hard to tell which (if any) truly describes him. The only way we will ever know is if he decides to see a professional for help. We hope he does.

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